This is why people hate Americans.

This was the conversation between two girls in the laundry room of my building two nights ago. For the purposes of context: just roommates, between 30 and 32, look like sorority girls, from the area but have that Valley-Girl accent that early-20-something girls often have. I entered the room partway through the convo. Capitalization and bold/italics used for proper conveyance of tone.

Girl1: ohmy GAWD, like what did you DO??!?
Girl2: Well I had this other credit card, BUT...
G1: NO. WHAT HAPPENED.
G2: Well it's like one of those credit cards where everyone in the whole FAMily has one, yknow? Because it's my dad's credit card. And here I am in EUROPE (pronounced "uh-YER-up" with combination eyeroll-sharp exhale) and I HAD to use it because my credit card wouldn't WORK!
G1: Oh my GOD, and that all HAD to happen while you were in EUROPE. Oh my GOD.
G2: RIGHT??!? So it set off some kind of alarm or something and everyone in my family got a PHONE CALL about like, is there some kind of like unAUTHORIZED activity on your credit card? And I'm like, I'm in EUROPE right now, I TOTALLY don't need this. So my mom was totally freaking but my dad, he was laughing. He thought it was fucking hysTERical.
G1: Totally. I mean, it's Europe, it's not like you're in some third-world country or something. Ga-AWD.
G2: No but wait, it gets WORSE. So we go down to the front desk to see the concierge, because you know, we want to go OUT (pronounced OW-out), and we were like, can you tell us where the best clubs are? And you know what he said? "What age range are you looking for?"
G1: NO. WAY. GOD, it's almost like he was talking back to you!
G2: I KNOW, right??!? I was like, UMM, we didn't come to EUROPE just to sit in our hotel room! You're like the CONCIERGE at the ST. REGIS in ROME, you should totally know where to go if I ask you.
G1: RIGHT?? I mean, you're in EUROPE and you already had that whole problem with the credit card. I mean, how could it even GET any worse?
G2: Well he told us where to go but he said there would be thousands of people in line, and I was like, UMMM, we're from new YORK, does it LOOK like we'd have to wait in a line? Ga-AWD.
G1: This whole thing is like SO unbelievable, it makes me not ever even want to GO.
G2: Totally. So we got to this club and there were like, SO many people in line, so we just skipped it and went back to the hotel.