A commonly-read guide-to-having-babies-and-all-the-things-you-should-buy-to-prepare-for-them makes comparison charts of all of the strollers that are out there, and the Bugaboo Chameleon is in the "You've Got To Be Kidding Me" category. It's twice as expensive as the most expensive MacLaren, but half the quality. The official book actually says "if you buy a Bugaboo, you are buying a name, not quality." So if you're like me, you're now asking yourself, "Then why do all the mothers in the WV have a Bugaboo?"
Because that's what Charlotte and Miranda had on Sex & The City. Yep. Watch those last few episodes, and you'll see 'em, plain as day.
I've become an expert on baby strollers because they're now more populous here in the WV than they are in the UWS. The double-wides (for twins) are especially popular down here because sooooo many people are having babies-in-a-jar these days. A girlfriend clued me in about why it's so rampant... here's the process:
- woman gets married, insists on purchasing townhouse
- hubby buys townhouse, wife starts talking about having a baby
- wife's physician hears "I'm thinking about getting pregnant soon" and instantly prescribes dozens of fertility medications, even though they're not needed, and even though the woman is in the 28-32 age range. NB: feels like payola going on here. (Or maybe yesterday's Zoloft is wearing off cuz I forgot to take one today, and I'm starting to get paranoid about stuff.)
Then, BINGO -- ya got twins. I saw something recently though, that really and truly took the cake.
Two African nannies were walking strollers side-by-side with babies in them, and the mothers were trailing behind them, talking and drinking lattes. They were on their way over to the playground on the pier at Horatio Street, and the part of the convo I heard as I walked past was, "... well I have pilates tomorrow, but maybe we can do it the next day?" and the other mother replied, "Oh I caaaaan't because that's when I have my mommy support group."
OK, let's recap:
- you have nannies taking care of the kids even though you're there.
- you have a MOMMY SUPPORT GROUP???!!!? Because living in an $8M townhouse and having someone else raise your child is pretty fuckin' tough.
What's really sad is the realization that some of these women (OK, most) have had these kids not because they want kids, but because 1) they're competing with their neighbors, and because 2) the kids are an insurance policy against the husband ever leaving. Cuz if he books, they get the townhouse and 50% of everything for the rest of his life.
Cynical? Not really... live here for a while and look around and do some listening and you'll realize how true it is. You'll look at these people and you'll see that something just isn't quite right, but you won't be able to articulate it. You'll see the husband + wife + twins exiting the $8M townhouse, but the vibe surrounding them is weird... distant, angry, maybe even a little bit mean. You'll see that even though they're very fit and thin and attractive, they really just look brittle. I guess that's what unhappiness will do to you. But if it worked for Charlotte and Miranda, then hey -- I guess these women have something to aspire to.
There's a new kind of entitlement that has moved into this neighborhood, and it ain't pretty.
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